I want to first say that my LO always has diapers and formula. My parents wanted to buy it for us as a baby gift so they send it once a month. So the baby never goes without.
I just got into a fight with my husband this morning because if my "attitude" and his incompetence.
We have 1 car and I currently dont have a license after letting it expire following a serious car accident I was where I was traumatized. He only pays half the rent and groceries and gets the money order for rent and the groceries. Those are the only "chores" he is absolutely expected to do around here. I do all the cleaning and cooking and about 85% of taking care of baby. I also pay the majority of the bills online.
At the first of the month rent was obviously due and we needed groceries as we were getting low. I gave him a small list of essentials. That Saturday he said he would go to the post office for the money or and get the shopping done. He didn't get up until 9 am(I am up at 5:45 with the baby every day) and wouldn't get himself moving and functioning until 1. At that point he said it was "too crowded and crazy" to go to the store then but he was going to his buddy's and would stop afterwards. He got home at 4 am and locked his keys in the car with his phone and wallet. I had to call his dad the next morning to bring the spare key after he complained I had him standing outside in the rain for 15 minutes before I answered the door. Like I was answering the door at 4 am when I'm alone, much less with a baby. He didn't go shopping because they were up too late playing video games and he lost track of time. He gave the same excuse for not going that Sunday, "it's too packed. I'll go after work tomorrow".
For the next week he would not go to the grocery store for various reasons, "I'm too tired....its really busy...I have band practice and dont have the time" and he would always do it the next day.
During the middle of this the landlord called me saying rent was late and for the second month in a row he put off getting the money order until the landlord complained. He finally did get it when I hounded him and literally had to threaten to take away his access to the Stream account and his online game. He still didn't get groceries though.
This past Saturday we are practically out of food. We are supposed to go to his nieces birthday party and then shopping after. I did my part and bought their gift online 3 weeks ago and have been on him for a week to get the bow, card and wrapping paper. 2 hours before the party he finally goes to get it and comes to me for $20. He literally just got his paycheck the night before and cashed it. He said he was flat broke and the money was gone already. I screamed at him we are extremely tight financially and how can he go through his entire paycheck and the one from the week before. I gave him the money and despite only having to get 3 items, he forgets to get a bow. We go to the party and stay later than expected so we dont go shopping. The baby was too tired and we were full from the party so we said we can go tomorrow.
Yesterday, as I am making up the list he is complaining. I cook a lot of dishes with lemons so I put lemon juice on the list. He whined it doesnt taste as good as real lemons and to put that. I explained why I needed lemon juice because I use lemons to much but I said fine and put 6 lemons. He complained that 6 lemons was a lot and why do I need so many. I again explained for the 4th time that most of the dishes I make use lemon and to just shut up and get them since I was doing his job of paying for the groceries. He kept complaining I was putting too much on the list and I explained I can't trust him to be reliable and go shopping once a week so it was for 2-3 weeks worth of groceries, on top of the fact we had literally no food left. I literally had nothing but water and freezer burnt ice cream yesterday.
He said "fine, I'm going to so-and-so's house and I'll get them on my way home." I gave him a look because he always says that and something always comes up. Staying up to late or the one store by his place was closed but he wouldn't stop at the one by our house. He promised he wasnt staying out late because he worked this morning. He knew I was stressed out and have had serious headaches and actually broke out in hives the last 2 weeks from stress.
I get up at 1 am to change the baby and I see he wasnt home and checking my bank account, that he hadn't gone shopping yet. A half hour later I see he went shopping but just under $70 worth of them. He comes home half hour later and comes to bed at 3 am and was on his phone for at least 20 minutes before going to sleep.
I get up in the morning and see he didn't get a third of the items on the list and what he did get he got the wrong quantities or items for most of them. For example, I put milk on the list. I cant handle dairy milk so for 3 years we have gotten almond milk. He bought a half gallon of 2%. When I asked he said he was sick of almond milk and wanted some regular milk. I said ok fine but where is the regular milk. He held up the almond milk carton and was like "there is still some..." I was like seriously? The reason we have that much is we didn't have food and how that we do it will last 3 days tops. He came home with just 3 lemons and when I yelled at him for him being able to follow the simple directions of a list he was like "we don't need that much...its only a week's worth we need". Are you f-ing serious?! The reason this happened is because you dont do your part properly, if at all. I now have to spend money on a delivery service to finish getting the groceries because if I ask family to go with me the awkward question of why isnt your husband able to do it comes up. I am just so sick of this. He cant do a single thing right and fights me on everything and makes me repeat myself literally 4 times every time I say something to him. This is ridiculous. He stays out or up until 3 am every night and then complains he is tired and when I put out his complete lack of logic just calls me
Based on the provided text, there are several underlying themes and concepts that can be identified and addressed:
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Household Responsibilities and Chores: The text outlines the division of household responsibilities between a couple, where one partner primarily takes care of the household chores, cooking, and baby care, while the other seems less involved in these tasks.
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Financial Management and Contributions: There's a clear distinction in financial responsibilities, where one partner seems to handle most of the bills and financial contributions, causing strain due to the other partner's perceived irresponsibility with money.
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Communication Issues and Unmet Expectations: The couple faces challenges in communication, with one partner expressing frustration at the other's lack of follow-through, failure to fulfill responsibilities, and the inability to understand or meet basic expectations.
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Time Management and Prioritization: The text suggests a pattern of procrastination, poor time management, and a lack of prioritization, leading to delayed tasks, missed deadlines for rent and groceries, and last-minute rushes to complete essential chores.
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Stress and Emotional Impact: The situation is causing significant stress for one partner, leading to physical symptoms like headaches and hives. Emotional strain due to the ongoing conflicts and unmet expectations is evident throughout the narrative.
In addressing these concepts, here's some advice:
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Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. Both partners should express their concerns, feelings, and expectations without resorting to blame or anger. Couples counseling or therapy might be beneficial in improving communication.
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Re-evaluating Responsibilities: A clear discussion about dividing household tasks more equitably might be necessary. Both partners should agree upon and commit to their roles to ensure a fair distribution of responsibilities.
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Financial Planning: A transparent discussion about finances, budgeting, and contributions is essential. Setting up a joint budget or financial plan could help avoid misunderstandings and ensure both partners contribute fairly.
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Time Management and Commitment: Setting realistic timelines and commitments for essential tasks like paying rent and grocery shopping is crucial. Both partners should prioritize these responsibilities and fulfill them promptly.
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Support and Understanding: Recognizing the stress and emotional impact on each other is crucial. Providing support and understanding can help alleviate tensions and create a more supportive environment within the relationship.
It's important to note that resolving these issues might require patience, compromise, and a willingness from both partners to actively work on improving the situation for the benefit of their relationship and family. If the problems persist or escalate, seeking professional help or counseling is advisable to navigate these challenges effectively.
